


Seriously Not Cool

by Sarcastic_Raspberry



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Homophobic Language, Mostly Dialog, cool kids, true rolemodels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcastic_Raspberry/pseuds/Sarcastic_Raspberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lars makes a very homophobic comment and the Cool Kids take it upon themselves to tell him what's up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seriously Not Cool

The trademark “cool kids” of Beach City were hanging out at Fishstew Pizza, as per usual. It was a bit too hot outside to do much else, but they were talking about different things they could do when the bell rang at the front. They turned around to see the new person was their favorite kid, Steven Universe, who was holding a large box.

“Hey, Steven!” Jenny called, looking up from her phone. “What’s with the box?”

“Amethyst helped me make some cookies and I thought I’d hand em’ out. Well, the ones she didn’t put coolant in anyway,” he said, looking up thoughtfully.

“Oh no,” Kofi said from behind the counter with Kiki. “Absolutely no selling outdoor food. Not in my restaurant!”

“I wasn’t going to sell them,” Steven said with another smile as he walked over to the counter. “I was just giving them out. Here,” he started digging in around in the box, “I made special ones for everyone.” He pulled out one that was shaped like a crudely drawn fish. “This one’s for you!”

Kofi pursed his lips and took the cookie thoughtfully before a small smile appeared. He let out a chuckle. “Well, I suppose that’s okay then. But you have to buy a pizza too!”

“Daddy!” Jenny whined from the table. She looked softly down at Steven. “Come here, Steven, I’ll pay for your slice.”

“Thanks Jenny!” he said, skittering over before he looked back at Kiki. “Oh, yea! Here,” he pulled out a cookie in the shape of a seashell. “Sorry.”

Kiki smiled and laughed as she took it. “Oh, that’s okay! Thank you Steven.”

He pulled out another one in the shape of a cat. “This is for Nanefua!”

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” Kiki said before leaning down, “I’ll try to keep my dad from eating it.”

Steven giggled before skipping over to the cool kid table again. “Here you go, guys.”

He pulled a few mis-shaped cookies out and began handing them out. “Here you go, Sour Cream!”

“Aw, thanks Steven! Heh… uh,” he looked down at it for a while before asking, “What is it?”

“It’s a glow stick!”

He lit up. “Oh, I get it now! Cool, thanks!”

“Don’t mention it! Here, Buck,” he handed over another cookie, “I tried to get it to look like your glasses.”

“Aw man, these look so chill,” he said with a small smile. “I might go around wearing this instead.” He even went as far as to remove his glasses and perch the cookie on the edge of his nose, much to the group’s enjoyment before he took a bit. “Thanks, man,” he said, putting his glasses back on.

Steven, still giggling, handed the last one over to Jenny. “Here, Jenny! It’s a skull. I wanted to frost it, but then I remembered you don’t like a lot of sweet stuff, so I decided not to.”

She smiled. “Aw Steven, thanks! That’s really thoughtful of you! Come here!”

She glommed him into a hug and Steven returned it as the bell at the front of the shop rang.

Steven turned around quickly, glad to see that it was Lars.

“Hey, Lars!” Steven chirped as he walked over to the table.

“Steven?” Lars said, shooting back slightly where he stood. “What are you doing here.”

“I’m handing out cookies,” he said, holding out the box. “I have one for you too! I wanted to give it to you at the Big Donut, but Sadie said you had the day off! Boy, are you lucky to walk in here!”

Lars looked at him for a while before shifting his eyes to the cool kids at the table. “Uh, thanks Steven.”

He tried reaching in for one himself, but Steven pulled the box away. “Wait a minute! I made one special for everyone! Hold on a sec.” He began rummaging through the box before pulling one out in the shape of a heart. “Here Lars!”

He took it, looking it over with slight disgust before asking, “Why’s it shaped like that?”

Steven snorted and smiled, setting the box down and crossing his arms as he said, “It’s a heart because we’re best buds!”

Lars stared down at him and then looked over at the cool kids again with worry before forcing laughter and saying, “Dude, that’s so gay!”

As he kept laughing, he didn’t notice Jenny’s disgusted look, which soon transformed into one of anger. He didn’t notice Steven tilt his head in confusion. He didn’t notice Sour Cream grow visibly uncomfortable as his eyes flicked between Jenny and Buck. And he certainly didn’t notice Buck’s face grow serious as he slid his glasses onto his face.

He only stopped and noticed the others when Buck started chuckling. It wasn’t a real chuckle. It was a slow, steady laugh filled with the kind of repetition that makes one think of a villain from some old movie with Shakespearian-Acting and it sent chills up Lars’s spine as soon as he heard it.

“Hey, Lars, that was pretty funny,” he said simply with a smile.

Lars looked down and back up before breathing. “Yea, it was, huh?”

“Yea, it was.” Buck held a chilling silence for some time. “Hey, you know what else is really gay?”

Lars pulled his shoulders up and shrank back before he said, “Uh, no. what?”

“Me.”

The word made Lars shrink even smaller.

Jenny then put an elbow on the table, smiling as she said, “Me too.”

“I’m pan,” Sour Cream said. “Seriously, not cool dude.”

“Not cool at all,” Buck added.

Lars backed up a step more, flustered as he said, “Come on, when I said gay I didn’t mean it like that gay! Just like how everyone uses it!”

“I don’t use it like that!” Jenny protested. “What about you Kiki?”

“No, I don’t either,” her sister agreed.

“Actually, the last time I heard it used like that was when I was fixing the car,” Jenny said. “You know, when I was working with tools.”

Lars clamped his mouth shut at that before slowly backing away. He jumped when he backed into a chair before darting out of the pizza parlor entirely.

Steven turned back around in his seat, looking up at the three teens with a questioning stare. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yea, Steven, everything’s fine,” Buck said with a nod. “Just don’t listen to what that guy says, okay? He doesn’t know anything.”

“Hey, baby, you need to take a minute?” Jenny asked, setting a hand on his arm.

“Nah, I’m fine. Tch, things like that don’t hurt me anymore.” He turned to Steven. “And Universe, if he ever says anything like that again, you tell us. Kay?”

Steven nodded slowly. “Uh, yea. What does gay mean anyway?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Buck said. “It just means a guy who likes other guys or a girl who likes other girls.”

“There’s a word for that?” Steven asked as his eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh, I have to tell Garnet!”

He hopped down from the seat and skipped away from the table before dashing back of his box. “Buy guys! See you later!”

“Bye, Steven!” Jenny called.

Sour Cream waved too, adding a, “Yea, later man!”

“Seriously though, you okay?” Jenny asked quietly as she leaned over the table.

“Yea, I’m fine.” He said, leaning back. “Seriously though, what’s wrong with that guy?”

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get the idea out of my head that Lars would be one of those basic assholes that think saying something is gay makes them cool and that Buck would be one of those guys that makes him really uncomfortable about it. BTW, Jenny would have totes taken him out if Steven wasn't there.


End file.
